Ok so my wife has been planning her annual garage sale for about a week. Collecting things around the house that are 'garage sale worthy', borrowing tables to display the items, pricing every item, etc. It's been a lot of work for her. I must say, when my wife decides to take on a project, she is ALL IN.
So here's a short list of my reasons for hating garage sales:
1. People that show up 90 minutes early. WTF. They didn't just stumble upon our garage sale. They're here because they saw it in the newspaper and the newspaper says "Open 12-5pm". So why do people show up at 10:30 !?!? Oh, I almost forgot........why don't you at least buy something if youre going to take the trouble to GET IN OUR WAY while we are busy setting up for the ADVERTISED 12PM START.
2. People that park in my driveway, even though we have it blocked-off. This one proves my theory that we are all one chromosome away from being SAVAGES. The single-mindedness of these garage sale zombies is the same phenomenon as watching two women fight over the last half-price dress at the local department store. This old man pulls into my driveway today. Hey dude, its not a HANDICAP SPACE. Would you mind moving your 1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme out of my driveway??!!
3. People that wanna haggle. Aguably, everything at a garage sale is priced-to-sell. Right? Right. So why the hell does this lady wanna know if she can have something at a lower price because something looks worn? Are you fucking kidding me!??!! The sign in the front yard says GARAGE SALE, not NORDSTROM. That $5 snow sled that you think looks worn just became a $10 snow sled just for you. Go away Lady. Just go away.
My wife's a trooper, and yes, she's having the 2nd day of her garage sale tomorrow.
-out.
